Outgrown Relationships

Accepting that people are the worst when you've believed the best in them is a hard pill to swallow.

I haven't had a day as hard as today in a LONG time- and for that I am thankful.

On the flip side- I was smacked in the face with reality yesterday and having to understand - we may not WANT to believe people will lie to us - we may THINK we know people because of the time we have associated with them - but I guess everyone has skeletons in their closet.

I think the hardest thing about having PTSD-Complex? Is that because of the relational aspect of the disorder - we turn blind eyes - "They can't be lying to me." "They wouldn't do that" - when red flags arise and make us question things. "But I've known them for so long....." But the truth is? People change - we change - and on the surface? Everyone tries to put on a front showcasing their best qualities - their own personal favorite traits.

In some ways I guess we all act- but there is a difference in putting on a show - and acting to achieve your own gain - your own agenda.

The acceptance and realization for those of us who have things like PTSD-Complex- when we realize we have been used, lied to and exploited by someone we had chosen to trust is just yet another nail in our social coffin so to speak - we crave friends but because PTSD-Complex is often caused by extreme relationship trauma? WE DON'T Want that either - extroverts turn into introverts just struggling and trying to protect themselves, rebuild themselves and their lives but trust no one.

I've always been a person (thanks to childhood trauma) that made people earn my trust - prove themselves - I kept my circle so small - and when you think you've done everything you can to keep yourself safe from any more heartache? Only to realize after 17, 20 and 24 years (in my case - those are the relationship lengths of people who most recently exacerbated my trauma and took advantage of my state of mind and/or just decided that I was too much to deal with in my broken State of mind) - But - people change and who we truly think we know evolves under the surface and not always for the better.

The world is a scary place when the majority of humans tend to become self serving - willing to lie - cheat - and harm people just to get something they desire or excuse their own actions instead of owning them. . . . .

It makes it hard to want to let anyone new into your life - but here is what I realized most today....

This TYPICALLY happens when we outgrow those relationships and surpass them in our own goals - our own self improvement and we leave them in a deteriorating dust because their complacent nature is what they have chosen.

Time doesn't matter about relationship - maturity, growth, honesty, and communication is how all of us should evolve as we grow - and some people seem to think that's just too much work -

In Other words - Sometimes? We grow up - and the people we have relationships with?

Just don't - and when that's the case? Those of us who work on self-improvement - growing and changing?

Simply become incompatible with the immaturity of the relationships we built before we grew - and they will take you down LEVELS - and break you down to be where they are stuck - if you let them ...

Hardest thing is to walk away - accept that it isn't a YOU problem. It doesn't need to make sense - it doesn't need to be defined - you don't need any answers - you just need to accept -

You've outgrown those people and it's just time to move on - no matter what they HAD meant to you or who they are to you - they become a dead weight and will keep you from lifting yourself up to new levels .....