"Don't Fake a Front: Why Your Life Gets Easier When You Stop Pretending"
Here are the basic emotions I think- missing the key- the EVIL one- Anger. We typically fall into one of 5 simple emotions, Happy, Sad, Unsure, Scared, Angry. One may argue that there are a slew of emotions, for example, what about Jealousy? Well that is one that I think goes into either the category of Anger or Sadness- at the root of all our feelings? I think you can boil them down to the 5 categories I described.
What do you do when you are angry? Or - how about Tired, which makes you irritable - which - again can lead to Anger. I am willing to bet you do the same as I do- I bet you "vent" and find someone who is appropriate to be listening to "how you feel" - so what do you do when you have no words? What do you do when you can't find the "explanation" - Scream? Cry? Throw things? Seclude yourself?
I assure you I have no issues in expression- I will run my mouth until someone frankly says, "SHUT UP" - it may be good, it may be angry, I always vent. I speak my mind - I say what I mean- and then I mean what I say. It's not always "right" it's not always "respected" but at least you will NEVER QUESTION my motives, where I am coming from, or - if I'm lying to you. In a way I have my own level of emotional detachment- Autism is not to blame in my case but it helps me to understand my son- and in all actuality - people a lot better. For me? It was having to learn life early- when I wasn't hardly finished being a kid. It came from my Mother dying, and being "Thrown To The Wolves" so to speak- before I ever saw my 16th birthday.
This may make you say "Oh SO SORRY!" or "OH that's so sad!" - but before you spend too much time feeling that way for me- let me explain something to you- what I have gone through in my life? Has made me who I am- and that is a person I am DAMN proud of being.
I have higher self-esteem than many, I call this a blessing- some may even think I appear "big-headed", perhaps I am - but I have learned you can never- ever - ever rely on a person to give you the push and support you need, in the end of the day ONE person and ONE PERSON ALONE is guaranteed to be there for YOU- and that's YOU - so you better damn well love that person - you never know when you'll be the only one left who can- point blank.
My journey in life has shown me oh so many things, I am learning every day- I will never "Know it All". One thing I do know- is that I am a "rarity" in the ability to speak any aspect of my mind so openly- it may make me *weird*- and it may make a lot of people not like me. But there is a plus- I also never judge, I do not believe my way is necessarily the "right" way- I don't have to THINK like you do in order to be nice to you. I am not an overly confrontational person (but don't make me mad)- overall I accept that each of us is an independent person - with independent feelings- independent thoughts and there is no way that 100% of that kind of "baggage" for lack of a better term - can be agreed on at all times.
So why is it? That so many of us- no matter who we are? Still have hesitation in expressing our emotions. Why is it so hard to tell someone for the first time that you love them? Why is it when we "hurt" we cry although we feel no physical pain? Why is it that when we get angry we shake with adrenaline- all these things tell us how we feel- yet- so many have a hard time just saying it.
Don't worry about being *liked*, don't worry about being *nice*- when you are who you are, the RIGHT people will surround you. (If you're like me you will find there aren't that many). I'm a hard person for MOST people to - well get along with. Many will tell you they have never met anyone nicer, I have heard people call me strong, inspirational, smart, loving,a good mom, a great friend (I can count those on a hand and a half I think) - And believe me when I tell you? If I listed the negative things people have called or said about me right here? That list would use the rest of your reading time....... THIS WEEK ........
My point is? It's too hard to "fake a front" - your life will be happier if you are always who you want to be - because then you will have a level of pride within yourself that makes all things easier.... yeah sure when you're opinionated and outspoken as I am- always saying whatever is on your mind (trust me- had an emotional breakdown on Facebook a month ago- TONS of "Acquaintances" on there- I pretty much had a meltdown AND a temper tantrum-) I never removed ONE thing I said- this is life- it's not always pretty - we have our breaking points and if you can't take me at my worst? You don't deserve me at my best. I live a trying- yet wonderful life. I am stronger than weak, I am happy more than anything else- but - I also work to be that way- and when will the work feel forever? And you just can't work that hard anymore? Epic "meltdowns" can occur- and when they do ? Know that I "vent" and then move on- it's HEALTHY.
My point today to you- if you are reading this- I want you to do me a favor. I want you to think about what makes you jealous- because judgment stems from jealousy, which stems from something we ourselves feel inaccurate in regards to. Change it. You have the power and the way. When you are hesitant because you are unsure of your "view" on life- don't be- we each have our own, and never expect that someone will always agree with you. When you have a gut feeling something is *amiss* - trust it. And... when you have a thought swimming around in your head? Let it out- in the words of Dr. Seuss, "Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter."
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